Against Doctors Orders

Well I'm back in the city and the name of the game was drink until all my ailments left me but after a visit to my doc who I haven't seen in over 7 years, drinking was taken off my to do list. When I was out of town and I had a chance to talk to people the common thing I would often here was "we should go out drinking this weekend when you get back". So with that plan drifting around we tried to make things a bit more solid. With Friday being a lack luster night split between the Stonehouse and Fluid, we decided we'd hit up what is probably the best bar on Jasper Ave, The Druid.

So with only a small band of our brothers heading out to the bar it was uncertain what the night would have in store for us. For myself seeing as I'm currently on 3 different kinds of prescriptions drugs I had figured that the loopyness I was feeling in my head would be the extent of my intoxication. I would soon find out that my alcoholism has reached an new level.


The Cast:

Pat
Bryan
Jessie
Pannich


The Supporting Cast:

Lindsey
Stacey
Jenny Asstron
Ashley (Shauns Girl) plus friends
Ashley A
Bobby (Ashleys Boy) plus friends


Location: The Druid
Time: 9:30

This episode began at the Frat with some light drinking, joking about, and some Futuresex/Lovesounds. Both Bryan and Jessie were drinking their respective poisons and were surprised to see that they each had some booze left from previous nights. As always we set ourselves a certain time we expect to leave and arrive at our destination but just as always we never seem to stick to it. With a bit of pre-drinking done we hopped into the civic and Pannich drove us to our destination.

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I'm actually thinking about this night and I can't say that anything really happened. I mean a few things did happen but as I think about them in detail it almost seems pointless to write it out in full. I know I usually blog the shit out of every event right down to the very last detail no matter how trivial, but I'm just sittin' here and I'm thinking to myself "What the fuck is point?" I don't know I mean I can can usually write these things out none stop for hours on end if I have too, but lately I find myself struggling to complete even the basic of nights. I guess I'm just so use to writing all that nonsensical manifesto shit, two of which I posted previous to the house party post, that when it comes down to just retelling a night on the town it just fails to compare. I don't know maybe my Docs right.

But whatever, I'll throw some key points at you real quick and you can make do with it what you can.

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When we get there we find Lindsey and Stacy sitting in one of the nooks off to the right side of the bar. The bar is not packed yet but seating is already full and the usual hot spots for crowds are already filling. After an unusual greeting, and I mean unusual by the way of a long two handed ass grab from Lindsey I stole a seat and let the others wander off into dankness that the Druid comands. Stacey and Lindsey seemed to be the ones that were taking charge of the drinking when we first got there as the guys seemed to be scoping out the surroundings. Not to worry though cause Bryan and Jessie brought forth the representation that they always do when the E-town boys are drinking. Jessie may not have ended up walking around in his boxers or Bryan throwing up and falling in the snow like a couple weekends back, but they still had award winning performances. So around this time we noticed Ashley come in with a couple friends that didn't seem too interested in hanging around with us. I would later find out that Pannich had made out with one of them in a bedroom at the Martini Party back in December. I just love how we know all these people that we've fucked around with in one way or another in the past and now it makes shit uncomfortable when we see them in social situations. No one does it better than us cause there are so many of us. Anyways it's about this time that the terrible person I am comes to the forefront. Uncharacteristically Bryan and Pannich follow suit. Even more so is when Jessie reaches our level. So it's pretty safe to say that we are terrible people.

4 1/2, 3 under, 1 over, $5 buy in, nuff said.

Jenny Asstron arrived somewhere in the night but I'm not too sure of the time frame. She had driven her new motor vehicle so she wasn't drinking, but she never usually does anyway. Must have been about 11 at this point and my alcoholism kicked in. It may be hard to understand but I'm coming off a two week hitch in Swine fucking Thrills where on the average day I'm drinking about 5 beers before work and another 5 after, toss a couple beers to the boys and that's a case a day. 24 pack of MGD runs you $53 in that shithole and I didn't feel like drinking Bud everyday. There are only two things the boys on that rig drink, Pepsi and Budweiser. Anyways I cave at about 11pm and I start drinking, what a dumb thing to do.

I asked my doc if I can drink on any of these multitude of meds he's prescribed and he says "no".

I say "what if I take them in the morning, can I drink at night?"

He says "doesn't matter what time of the day you take them, no alcohol."

So one beer and shits not alright up in the old grape, if you know what I mean. So instead of stopping I decide I'll pace myself. By now I'm sure the drinkers were drunk, except Lindsey and Stacey who seemed to stop drinking when they realized that they couldn't keep up with the seasoned vets, Jessie and Bryan. In an attempt to elevate the drunkiness and try and catch up I ordered a couple rounds of drop shots. Stacey decided on Dr. Peppers so we got 5 of those and despite Lindseys attempt to get next round to be Nigger Bombs, it was decided that Bottle Caps would be an easier and more tasteful choice.

One thing we need everyone to learn from this is: Dr. Peppers taste disgusting when drank after a Bottle Cap, the sweetness, sour, and 36 flavour mix just doesn't taste right.

For some reason, possibly cause she reached her drinking limit, Lindsey opted out on the last drop shot so Jessie manned up. By now I had had about 5 drinks and old familiar took charge in my body. I could no longer feel the affects of the meds, it was just the booze, but I felt sober. Maybe they cancel each other out? Something for the scientists to look into. So the other Ashley had decided to grace us with her seemingly drunk presence which is always welcome in my book. After a quick hello and an even quicker introuction to her new boyfriend she was off dancing and frolicking with the mass of people on the dance floor. At some point the song Mr. Brightside began playing and I think Shauns girlfriend must have seen the dismay in my eyes cause after a brief explanation from me I got another pep talk/lecture about Francine. Everyones got an opinion, everyones got the answers, but all that matters if what I know and what Fran knows. Problem is that no one else knows what Fran knows.

I'm not sure what time is was when Stacey and Lindsey decided to leave but Lindsey seemed to be in a bad mood and they left in a hurry. With our night forcefully ending fast the 3 guys made there rounds and kept me filled in on the progress reports each time they made a lap. Jessie had some choice words about Bryans wingman capabilities but I'll keep those to myself cause they were pretty damn funny.

Well I'm not sure what to say about the night out except that we drove Shauns Ashley home to Shauns and we stopped for Wendys. Some drunk bastard ended up eating my Big Bacon Classic Combo and I think it was Jessie based on the texting we did.

Here's how it went:

Pat sent "One of you drunks is eating my burger"

Jessie responded "That might be me i gal"

Jessie responded "Have pickles and shit"

So he ate my Big Bacon Classic and I got a Jr. Bacon.

Anyways, so I wake up around 4am and my hands are swollen. Like I'm talking Swollen Members swollen. Think Dave Grohls hand in the video for Everlong. I'm sure if I had rings on I would have lost a finger or two. So naturally I'm a little concerned. I grab that Healthwatch Reminder sheet that you get from Shoppers with each prescription and I begin reading them over but none of them say anything about gigantisms. So I call the 24hr hotline and I talk to some women, she asks me what's wrong, what I'm on, the dosage amount, and if I can think of anything that may have caused the reaction. I tell her I had a couple beers, she asks how many is a couple, I say about 5 or 6, she says that the alcohol is the cause of the reaction. I'm told that the swelling will go down when the alcohol leaves my body. She then makes a point of saying that next time I should listen to my doctor.

Well I figure I'll leave it at that. I had a really weird but detailed dream a few nights back, maybe I'll post it up here so some of you that are interested in dream translating, tarot cards and what not can give your opinions.

So yeah, this is some tired shit. Next time I'll try not to swear as much, but it's been a few days since I've had a drink.

Damn, now that I think about it, I'm not suppose to drink for at least a month and a half.

My life has now reached 6 feet under rock bottom.