E-town Lames out on Jessie

Well things have sort of gotten away from me as I'm never around when people need me but I'll throw up a brief summary of the night Jessie turned 23. This night actually happened on the 11 but this post will be dated the 20.

First off I'll just say that the E-town crew straight up lamed out or flat left (which makes you a flatleaver) Jessie on his bday. Out of all the cast members that appear in the blog Jessie is one of, if not the most, constant. What do you think that means? Well after looking at all the posts it means that he comes out for everyones parties and everyones birthdays. We had a hard summer with back to back weekends of bdays, house parties, and pub crawls. It's a pretty safe bet that if it was anything outside of just a regular "let's go drink on Whyte cause it's cheap Thursday" that Jessie was there.

With that in mind it's hard to understand how for just one night some of us can't seem to lose our ambition. Now I understand that ambition is a tricky thing but when it causes you to miss out on your buddies birthday maybe you should re-think it, especially when that buddy went to your birthday. Now I understand that we had a triple bday the weekend before at I-Ho but the only person I would give a "get out of jail free" card to would be Adriano. Another problem was some lame pubcrawl that a good portion of you jumped on. $20 for a bus ride from Globe to the Iron Horse, yeah, good idea. I know some of you bought your tickets thinking Jessie would be on it, but he did a pretty good job of keeping everyone up to date with his plans through email.

I'll single a couple people out here cause they should know better. Bryan some how managed to cock block himself which I think maybe a first in recorded history. I don't know how he did it but he didn't get the girl he paid $20 for so it seems to fit. The second would be Rylee, Jessie's girlfriend. Now I don't know much about this girl so it's hard to say anything bad, but to me her stock has dropped more than Red Robins. I'll tell you what do know. Her boyfriend of a little over a month is having his birthday and of course she is invited. Does she show? No. The reason I'm told is that her friend is having relationship trouble. Well what do you think YOU'RE having now!? I don't know about Jessie but if my girlfriend pulled a no show for my birthday we'd be having relationship problems. The way it looks from my perspective is that she cares more about her friends relationship than she does about her own. Seems messed up to me, but only those two really know what's going on and they shouldn't listen me by any means.

I'll now summarize the night.

-we pre-drink at my place
-we get to the Globe (before entering Keith throws up)
-shots all around
-flatleavers flat leave (Bryan included)
-more drinking and slutty girls get crazy
-sobers show up and gay Bryan with gay boyfriend leave
-more drinking (Jessie gets crazy)
-Steve Johnson
-sobers leave and I leave a voicemail for casual sex

I'll write out the voicemail I left cause I think it's entertaining. Don't read if anything sexual said by me may offend you.

"Hey baby it's me. I've been thinking about you all night and all I wanna do is go down on you. I know you taste sooo good, I just wanna lick your body all over. I wanna squeeze your tits and make you scream. Let me make love to you all night. Give me call back, you know the number. Ciao."

-crazy girl dances some more
-Jay Jonah reels one in
-all but a handful leave
-Jessie, Keith, and Pat grab some pizza
-Jessie throws his pizza at the t.v.
-the 3 head to Fluid for more booze
-Pat makes a note after doing some shots that he has past his safe drinking limit
-try to get a cab and fluid closes
-hail a cab and get dropped off

That's pretty much the night minus the humor and excitement that comes with detail. So it was night full of booze, girls, pizza, and casual sex.

For those of you who lamed out, you let us down.

For those of you who came out, cheers.