So Long to Summer

So after a couple weeks rest from the duel house party hosted by Bryan and Burger we stumble upon our yearly get together. Now for those of you that have known us for a good number of years it has become a bit of a tradition that the last big house party of the summer takes place at the Fortress of Solitude, otherwise known as Jessie's. With a house that has the lay-out of a small pub complete with a bar, a pool table, a big screen, and a dance floor with a disco ball it's always a don't miss kind of party, even if you are just showing up for a little bit to make your presence known. Unfortunately for me (or fortunately for you if you were drinking my tasty conncoctions) for this party I was once again behind the bar, well not really cause I had a great fucking time while I was back there I just missed out on a lot of things. Like I was saying I did miss out on a shit load of things that happened so I know I'll probably end up leaving out some important plot points of the evening.

*Disclaimer*

As I write this I'm dealing with some fucked up problems in life and mainly my relationship but I hope to take you on one hell of a ride 3 or 4 days in the past. It'll be more interesting and may make more sense to read this while drinking or drunk, so grab a bottle, go on... I encourage it.

The Players:

For the list of people that were there just scroll down to all of my previous posts and take those names and put them under this heading, then add about 20 more names for the people that I didn't know.

For myself the day started out stressed to the max trying to get everything ready, having to drive to one place for something and to another place for something else, the ice for the keg and the lime mix for the vodka slimes as well as other drinks were particularly difficult to find, all the while answering the onslaught of calls I was getting from people wanting to know the details of the night. Once I got there I around 6:30 for the bbq I had to take some time to relax and get some grub in my gut before I hit the keg of MGD. I figured that would be all that was asked of me for the night not realizing then that what is possibly the best house party I have been to would end in shambles for myself.

After I had inhaled a couple burgers and downed a few beers I headed inside and down to the bar where I would probably spend about the next 5 to 6 hours. Having dropped off the booze and prepped the bar the day before I was all set up and ready for the party goers not drinking beer.

The bar was now open.

I believe the first thing I poured was two shots of Cabo Wabo tequila one for Chimko and one for myself, we'd start the night off right with a strong and expensive poison. After that and sure enough a couple of almost soon to be regulars Lindsey and Stacey sat down at the bar bringing with them booze to be added to my stock and a smiling face that goes by the name Ashley. Now Ashley is the kind of girl that is fun to hang out with and can always put a smile on my face, so she must be doing something right, only problem is it's so damn hard to get the girl to actually come out. Anyways it was good to see her and I know the guys liked it as the cock blockery was in full effect something I hadn't expected to fully kick into gear until later that night when a girl I hadn't seen since her 18th b-day pubcrawl (see "A Bottle of Absinthe and a Yellow Bus" for spoiler) showed up. Around this time I got a call from Jenny explaining that though she wants to be at the party it's too hard for her to come cause she loves me too much and can't stand to see me with other girls, well at least that's how heard it.

I would have expected that around this point there was a shit load of people there as all the stools at the bar were full and I had people standing behind them wanting drinks, only problem was when ever I'd leave the bar to take a piss or grab a beer all the jackals would flood behind the bar to try and make their own drinks. I'm almost positve that the first bottle finished that night was the Jack Daniel's Single Barrel and that the last of it went to Chris. Once the party got into full swing Chris stepped behind the bar to help me work the crowd as even the beer drinkers were coming to the bar for shots and drinks, something that would fuel everyones second wind like the last charge at Helm's Deep as they took on the keg. On a side note some how our security measure had failed and Speilbergo had gotten in charge of the music, so needless to say it was fucking loud.

With people now crowding around the bar, others by the pool table, and still more on the dance floor it was hard to keep track of everyone. The lovely Laura finally arrived though after a quick hug and brief conversation that was strained through the music I didn't get to see her as much as I would have liked as she was quickly set upon by the singles not currently engaged in conversation with other girls. With the crowd thickening I realized that Bryan and Smith had finally arrived from the wedding of a girl we went to high school with. Smith wasted no time as he c-blocked the others from Laura. Amongst all the questions I was being asked by everyone I decided to ask one of my own "Where the fuck is Jessie?".

Now with everyone always asking me questions I usually don't have a problem with it but as the questions changed to things the owner of the house would only know I had to ask "Where the fuck is Jessie?" cause they were things he should have been dealing with. At this time I closed the bar for awhile as I attempted to get things in order. One thing I haven't gotten a chance to express my distaste for is going for "walks". Everyone has gone on walks before including yourself but I'm not talking about a romantic walk or a walk to the video store. The kind of walk I'm talking about is when you are at a party and you leave said party with a small group of people, usually no more than 6. Now you're thinking to yourself "I've never gone on one of those walks", but you have, cause remember way back when you were fuckin' 12 and in jr. high and you were at your friends P.C.P. party and you and all your dumb little friends left and walked to the store or a lake and then went back. Bam! just like that you went on a walk. Well because I never exactly wrote a detailed post for "A Keg of Fools Gold" and no one else manned-up and wrote one I never got to express my hatred for these things as a select few left that party for whatever the fuck they do on those things. Anyways I'm sort of off topic so as I was saying I'm walking around trying to find Jessie when I bump into Amanda and we talk for a bit as Bryan, Smith, and Pannich each at different times walk in and awkwardly shy away. After that talk I head back out on the hunt and manage to find Kevin (Jessie's bro) laying on the front steps angled in a way that looked very uncomfortable, at the blink of an eye it was obvious that he was busted. He managed to tell me that Jessie had left and started walking that way, pointing in the direction he went. That fuckin' guy went on a walk. Sure enough like clock work Francine called me drunk as fuck and yelling into the phone told me that her, Jessie, and a few others were at the park. I expressed my feelings to them about it and went back to the party but not before noticing a few of the partiers hot boxing one of their cars.

On my way back to the bar I happened to come across Chris and Laura upstairs talking and decided to join them. They were in a meaningful conversation about relationships and I used this opportunity to tell her that I thought her ex was a douche bag and she shouldn't date guys like that, cause lets face it, she's better than that and she deserves the best. My involvement with that convo was short lived as the "walkers" returned and I once again told them how I feel about going for walks. I then tried to hang with Fran but she apparently wasn't in the mood to be around me so I headed back down to the bar where I was wanted as the alcoholics sitting around the bar kept asking me to make them drinks. So I opened the bar again. As I poured shots and made drinks I played wingman to the guys sitting around the bar that were working on their invited guests. Now I'm not sure who brought the McCain Deep 'N' Delicious cake but that thing was nothing but trouble from the get go. With drunk guys and girls, some that were high, everyone seemed to want a piece and while I was away from the bar it seemed people were better at getting it everywhere except there mouths. At one point I even got stabbed in the hand with a fork by someone trying to get a piece. Once I made sure everyone had their beverages I went to grab myself another beer and bumped into Ashley by the keg, now as most people know there were 4 Ashleys at the party and I'm talking about my Ashley, the one I worked with not the girlfriend of Shaun, or Keith, or the lover of Chimko. So after I talked to her for a bit she told me she was leaving cause she had to work early, now this was something she had told me numerous times throughout the night so after she convinced me she really was leaving this time I made sure of it by carrying her up the stairs to where her driver for the ride home was waiting. When outside I talked with Kevin and he explained to me that the thing that happens to all of us when we drink too much just happened to him, something he told me again a few more times that night.

On my way back down I saw Francine and tried to talk to her but she just labeled me with a bunch of reasons that her and her friends came up with as to why I'm not a good boyfriend. I tried to talk but she just kept walking away so I did what I always do, got right fucked. I headed down to the bar and lined up 11 shots, took two for myself and demaned 9 other people to put it up. Adriano manned-up and took 2 for himself and the last 7 were collected by others, in the five seconds it took us to down the shots I was already calling for the next 7 drinkers to come get the next shot as Adriano and myself grabbed another 2 each. We did this over and over till the bottles ran dry.

After our onslaught on the booze at the bar I closed it for the night and headed to find my girl and that's where my night pretty much ended as I tried to salvage a sinking ship.

As I was still in the house in a quiet and little used room I heard the crowd roaring from the depths of the basement. Everyone got their second wind as some had thrown up and others had risen from beneath the pool table they all rallied to the coldest and least comforting room in the house. I can't say I witnessed it first hand but I did hear it and I did see videos of it and I feel Bryan expressed it best as he said it was like a scene out of Fight Club. A concrete room filled with people all in a circle surrounding a keg as they lined up one after another to challeged the keg to provide them with just a little bit more beer so that they could do a keg stand as the blatantly drunk crowd cheered them on. It was a sight I'm sorry to say I didn't get to participate in.

Some other notes of the evening that I don't have first hand accounts of were Ruben trying to convince an asian guy that the girl he came to give a ride to had left so that Ruben himself could try and pick her up. I think he may have given her his number. Another event is Marco and Matt singing along to every song in the Goof Troop movie as they sat hypnotized watching it in the early morning.

Time: 10am

The next morning I showed up as I always seem to do after our parties to gather my belongings and survey the disaster zone. I found Bryan on the couch upstairs and Jessie in his room, Ross and Stacey were sleeping in the spare room downstairs both fully clothed. For the second party in a row I woke them up again. Except for a few places the house was fairly clean and didn't take much time to clean, of course I didn't do any cleaning myself, but I did watch the others clean while I was playing pool. After Ross and Stacey left Bryan fried up some bacon and eggs and I had more than my share of bacon. We basically sat there at the table for a few hours as we tried to collect ourselves and remember the events of the night before. Bryan told us the story behind his white shirt with an orange back and the guy who was suppose to "watch his drink" and Jessie expressed his feelings about all the cock blocking that occured.

After gathering up all the empty liquor bottles we roughly calculated that with the keg included by actual bar prices we drank about $8,000 worth of booze.

It was a great party and has been said by alot of people that were there that it was possibly the best house party they have ever been too.

I think I would agree with that, well for the most part.