The Druid Debacle

Saturday the 29th was a joint birthday for Pam and myself and the celebrations were going to be held at the Druid North. However the day would begin much earlier as the Oilers were playing the Red Wings in game 5 at around 1:00pm.

On a side note I find myself becoming more and more angry at the simplest things, so at some point I feel I may just implode or spontaneously combust. That being said I'm going to use it as my excuse for this otherwise drab evening.

The Players:

Pat
Jessie
Jay Jonah

Location: The Crown
Time: 1:00pm

Not much happened this early in the day other than a few amusing stories told to each other in an old run down bar. At one point in time the Crown used to be some what of a decent place to go but after a few years of management changes and "theme" changes it's turned into a dank (and not the good kind of dank) little corner bar. With a cliental that includes the majority of the cities rejects and not one decent screen to watch the game it's some what of a desperate last resort. On the upside though the Oilers won and at 3 bucks a beer my resentment towards what the place had slowly vanished with each swig I took. After kickin' around for a bit we deicided to regroup and meet up around 7 for some pre-drinking.

The Players:

Pat
Bryan
Jessie
Jay Jonah
Keith
Chris
Fred
Pam
Katie
Angela
Jocelyn
Michelle
Ryan
Jason
Marco
Lindsey
Ashley
Francine
Becky
Laura
Chris (Lauras bf)
Shanna
Vannessa
Sean H
Pams brother
all his douche bag friends and relatives

Location: The Keep
Time: 7:00pm

After the standard barage of calls for last minute details the usual suspects began to arrive at my place to start the drinking festivities. Still getting over the strep that had put me out of commission the previous weekend I was looking forward to punishing my throat with a variety of beverages that night. While rummaging through the fridge and liquor cabinet I realized that I had an assortment of alcoholic mixes and liquors that were getting up there in age so finishing them off would be my goal for the evening. Based on what I had, the poison I would start with would be a Killer Kool-aid (1oz vodka, 1/2oz amaretto, 1/2oz melon, equal parts cranberry + soda water). For a drink that tastes good but takes forever to get you drunk the key to drinking these was to drink as many as possible as fast as possible. Watching the game as we drank we all expressed our disgust for the Calgary Flames and joked about how we weren't actually going out and that we would be staying in to continue drinking. For the most part I think I would have prefered to do just that.

Location: Jocelyn's Car
Time: 9:30pm

For b-day packages and whatnot the Druid wants the birthday boy/girl to be there before 9:30, but not really giving a damn we ended up leaving a little after that time. Jocelyn would once again be our "to the bar" DD for the night. Taking Bryan and myself we headed downtown where we would pick up Michelle as per usual. Along the way I was grilled about the content of this blog and some questionable comments made about certain peoples driving, but it was all in good fun. Once arriving at Michelle's both Bryan and myself had to exit to relieve ourselves knowing Black Peter would be awaiting us at the bar. Seeing as we were at our normal pit stop we both decided to piss on the dentists property again, this time however Bryan had to pinch his off as a man walking his dog headed in our direction. After piling back into the car I got a call from my sis asking where we were cause Pam's crew had taken over both of the reserved tables. Being only minutes away not much thought was given to it as our group is pretty nomadic and has the ability to infiltrate and over take even the best of tables.

Location: The Druid
Time: 10:00pm

During the short walk from where we parked to the bar I already began to notice that my blood was up and I was in a bad mood. Most people have a certain drink or type of beer that is their achilles heel and puts them in a bad mood or makes them easy to set off. Maybe it was all the old flat tasting alcohol I had consumed but it seemed as though I had been drinking Johnny Walker Red by the pint cause I was gettin' in the mood to fight a nigga or two. As we entered the bar the bouncer wished me a happy birthday and this nice gesture calmed me down a bit. Once inside our group was easy find and the mood lightened as we all greeted each other and joked around.

Almost as soon as I finshed talking to the last person I was taken to the bar for a line-up of shots, drop shots, and a tasty tequila slammer courtesy of Bryan. While standing at the bar a bouncer came to me and told me to tuck in my chain (I suppose so I couldn't show anyone what gang I was associated with, Fighting Mongooses Forever biatch!) I offered to do him one better and took it off. I think about this time Pam came to me, wished me the b-day thing and gave me a $5 voucher from the Druid, which I ended up using to by my sis a drink with later in the night. Around this time I met Pam's brother and his retarded monkey friends all of which threatened to in one way or another kick my ass for some reason that was never clearly defined to me. This boiled my blood over and ruined my night, it was all down hill from there. By the time the last one said his piece I had had enough and told him to step up whenever he wants. What I wanted to and should have done was grabbed the martini glass that was on the bar, broke of the stem, cut myself and stabbed the fuckin' guy in the heart all the while saying "he cut me first". I will always dislike them. Fucking douche bags.

After that I went and sat down at the table for the majority of the remainder of the night. Every so often I would get up to have a drink bought for me, or buy one for myself, or to go to the bathroom. On my first trip to the can I was surprised to see no Black Peter and was relieved to see that he was not there on any of my other trips that night. It was nice to see that Lindsey, Becky, and the enigma that is Ashley had come out to celebrate and I spent alot of time talking to them while trying to cool down. I didn't see much of Francine that night but I do remember her telling me "I hate you, I hate you, I don't even know you but I hate your guts". At one point I called her boyfriend a douche and told him to get the fuck away from my table because he was a douche. Jocelyn then offered to buy me a drink and I told her that if she bought me a bottle of MGD I'd marry her, she did and we agreed I'd propose later. At some point in the night the majority of the people left and a few stragglers came. Shanna showed up with her friend Vannessa and as promised if she showed up to my b-day I'd show up to hers so I bought a pub-crawl ticket. We bumped into Sean H and I remeber seeing him a bunch of times that night. I don't recall seeing much of Jessie that night and not sure if he was drunk and working his charm and magic I figured I'd try and fill in. Not being able to do his patented tiger growl and use his invisible rope to pull girls in, I did the best I could come up with which was a simple but drunken kiss of the hand. I believe at one point Jessie did dance on a table but where I was I do not know.

A handful of us is all that remained and I had been stewing in my drunken anger for a little over 3hrs. Pam's brother and his friends had all left but at that point it didn't matter, I was ready to beat down or get beat down all I needed was some yeg to give me a reason. Enter dude with hat and his friend, dude with glasses. I don't know why they did it and it probably wasn't anywhere as bad as I thought it was, but dude in the hat grabbed Chris' head from behind and started shaking it. Well these guys just volunteered. Before doing anything I checked with Chris to see if he knew these guys and he said he didn't. I took a walk around the bar to find them but came up empty. About 10min later I had to take a piss and I guess so did Keith cause he was headed in that direction. After what I imagine was some drunken conversation in the washroom we both head back out into the madness that was winding down as it was last call. From here I believe Keith took a right and took the more direct route back to our tables, I hung a left to do a walk around. Almost immediately someone bumped into me right by the back doors and as I turned to accept their apology I saw it was dude with glasses with his friend dude with hat. Before they can say anything I start accusing them of grabbing my friends head and whatnot. Everything esscalted pretty quick and dude with glasses and I began pushing each other. I was then grabbed from behind by someone other than the two I confronted.

Location: Curb outside Druid
Time: 2:30am

As I sat outside in the drizzling rain I came to the conclusion that I was alone so I began calling everyone that I remember being inside. After a number of failed attempts and a call to Bryan who was already at home and in bed, I got a call back from Keith who told me they were just rounding everyone up and they'd be outside right away. Once everyone was outside and filled in on the situation we all started to head to Papa John's for something to eat. Along the way Pam and Jessie busted up some sign and then busted it up again about 10 min later. After eating a couple pizzas and being bothered by some guy that I figuered was a creeper we headed out into the rain to try and hail a cab. Ryan caught up with us at this point after a chase he was on went sour. I believe the remaining people with us were Jessie, Pam, Katie, Ryan, Fred, Keith, Chris, and myself. Now after a bunch of failed attempts to call for a cab by a severly drunk Pam we all headed into the Mac's to get out of the rain. After about 15 min inside the Mac's I had had about enough and wondered out into the rain to catch a cab. In about 2 min I had a van cab waiting for us and we all started to pile in, it was then that the driver said that 8 was too many and he could only take 7 people. So me and Keith decide we'll just grab a regular cab for the two of us and everyone else can stay in the van. I then hail another cab and Keith and I both start to get into it but the van cab hasn't left yet. Everyone then starts to pile out of the van so we go and see what's up only to have both the van cab and our cab pull away and leave us in the rain. As Jessie see's this he hurls his Nestea down the street and at the cabs only to just miss them by a foot or two. Fuck Yellow Cab. Now we're both pretty pissed off and I'm absolutley soaked so we blatantly walk out into the street and force the next two cabs to stop, before the driver even speaks to me I'm already sitting shotgun waiting for the rest to pile in.

The cab ride home was pretty tame, the driver told us that Yellow Cab is shit and smack talked them for a bit. Everyone was dropped off at my place and the respective drivers having sobbered up drove home.

Thanks to everyone who came out, it was much appreciated.

It was still a terrible night.