A Bottle of Absinthe and a Yellow Bus

As this is my first post please bare with me as I stumble through this process. As my team mate has mentioned a journal or blog is long overdue as there are many stories that could entertain or offend society in general. Stories such as "The Middle Finger Man", "Fight Night", "The Night of the Nickle-Plated Vag", and "The Man Who Was Too Fucking Handsome" will have to live on in the memories of those who were involved and those it was passed on to.

I'll be starting with Saturday April 8th, Laura's 18th B-day PubCrawl.

As a disclaimer I'll will state that Absinthe leaves me with no recollection of the what happened the previous night. What follows has been pieced together from hearsay and my own broken memory.

The Players:
Bryan (homeboy)
Pat (homeboy)
Jessie (homeboy)
Kevin (jessies bro)
Jay Jonah (homeboy)
Keith (homeboy)
Ashley (keiths women)
Jamie (ashley's sister)
Chris (Jamies BF)
Ruben (club Z)
Fred (rio nero)
Francine (old navy)
Lindsey(old navy)
Shanna (tommy hilfiger)

This would be the core group that did the pre-drinking at my house and for the most part stuck together throughout the night. The Following are "Supporting Players" that interacted and influenced the aforementioned Players.

Laura (old navy, birthday girl)
Kelsey (old navy)
Chantel (old navy, loves the cheese)
Chris Epton (bro of old homeboy)
Kristen (high school, U of A, many other connections)
Mark (green shirt dude)
Veronica (some girl)
Courtney(some girls friend)

Location: Castle Keep
Time: 6:30-8:15pm

As everyone got ready to meet at my place to drink and talk high hopes of the night I got the usual barrage of phone calls with everyone wanting to know the details. Being the one with the greatest connection to the birthday girl I generally had to organize our group of party goers. After hearing from everyone I got the general notion that the guys were all ready and the girls would be late. So as the boys arrived the drinking commenced with our choice of poison being Absinthe and MGD. There were few other beverages being consumed but they were all un-Godly concoctions of this and that which works as the main goal of the night was to get as shamangled as possible. The Absinthe got the job started going down smooth, well at least as smooth as a gasoline/turpentine mixture can. Being a beer drinking knowing I had MGD's was a nice comfort, but little did I know after my share at the house I would only have one more throughout the night thanks in part to a little dark haired vixen. When the girls arrived we all pounded back our drinks and made for the convoy of last minute drivers (Rodney, Pam, and Katie). The ride to the meeting place "Rum" was uneventful in my vehicle but as I later heard Jessie's car had to make a pit stop as 3 out of 4 drinkers damn near pissed themselves.

Location: The "New" Rum
Time: 8:15-9:00pm give or take

We regrouped at Rum and joined what would be the other people on the pubcrawl. Almost immediatley we were welcomed by Laura who for some reason did not seem drunk yet. She said her hello's and gave us the gist of what should be happening during the night. As I wandered off from the group I was mauled by another newly 18yr old Kelsey. Not having seen her for some time it was good to chat and make promises of getting messed up before the night was over. Looking a little like Scarlette Johnasson, Kelsey's always a bonus to have at any party cause she's easy on the eyes and has that fun loving attitude. Around this time I was taken to the bar for a drink and grabbed Laura on the way so I could get her a b-day drink. I asked for a bunch of what seemed to be well known drinks only to find out that chick working the bar didn't know anything outside of a Gladiator dropshot. By now I was feeling nicely buzzed and was glad to hear that we would be leaving for the next bar.

Location: Bus
Time:?

Our first bus ride wasn't too special other than a few swigs out of a community bottle of something I didn't much like the taste of, but hey, free booze.

Location: Stolli's
Time:?

As we all herded ourselves into Stolli's I only had one thing on my mind and that was a date with the urinal. After an exquiste piss I had my fist encounter with Mark while washing my hands. Unknown to me we had met previously and after randomly guessing wrong names we reintroduced ourselves and I guranteed I wouldn't forget it again. After leaving my boy Keith brought me a drink (Vodka Slime Double) and we bullshitted our way through conversations with different people. After returning the favour with another double vodka slime I found my self toe-to-toe with Francine. Now somewhere in a past life I must have emabarrassed this girl in a drinking competition cause she had it out for me that night. For a petite girl that I doubt even weighs a buck five she's got one hell of liver and an even stronger palate cause 3 shots of tequila w/o lemon or lime and she's wanting more. Needless to say I'm impressed but as she follows that with a shot of chartruese I'm left stunned as she smiles and socks me in the stomach with a tiny fist of fury. At some point in the onslaught of drinks and shots at Stolli's I give her the nickname of "Kid Gorgeous" in honor of her constant punching and her obvious good looks. I believe sometime while I was getting stupid drunk Jay Jonah was getting the Emperors grove back while grabbing handfuls of ass and titties, Jessie was having a little trouble as he got his face stuck to Chatelles, and everyone else was already leaving for the bus.

Outside on Whyte a drunken mess of people began staggering through the streets in search of there transportation to the next bar. On this walk I began talking to Veronica and Courtney, two girls who claimed we had been talking earlier in the night but I don't recall that ever happening. They wanted me to walk them to the bus to make sure they got on which I gladly began to do until Jessie amazingly without Chantelle ran over to me and informed me that Francine, Lindsey, and Shanna weren't among the crowd. After asking around we found out that they had gone to the bathroom at the time they announced our pubcrawl departure and figured them to still be in the bar. So being the ever drunk gentleman I decided to go back and get them but not before telling Jessie to stall the bus as long as possible. I then began a brisk jog back to Stolli's which was more difficult then I had imagined being that the faster my blood pumped the more disoriented I became. Once back in Stolli's I did a quick circut but was unable to find anyone other than Chris Epton who I stopped and talked to forgetting my current mission. Luckily I spotted Francine and snapped back into the druken leaving mode, however after explaning everyone was gone and the bus was leaving the girls didn't believe me. Understanding the urgency I grabbed Lindsey and started heading for the door hoping the others would follow, which thankfully they did. As the four of us booted it down the stairs I assured the girls that if they fell I would catch them knowing full well that chances are if one fell we were all going down. After a damn near full out drunken sprint I was able to see the bus and Jessie standing outside the door waving at us to hurry. As we entered the bus the crowd let out a roar as the final members of the party were on and the bus was off to the next destination. I then proceeded to point at the people I didn't know and say (which was quoted by Freddy) "I hate you!, I hate you!, I don't even know you but I hate your guts, and I hope all the bad things in the world happen to you and only you!" Needless to say, it was bliss.

Location: Bus
Time: didn't matter at that point

On this bus trip I was told there was alot of grabbing and fondling of ass and titties. Most of it done by me. (I call erroneous on all counts until given proof)

Location:Globe
Time:?

This bar and the rest seemed to fly by as I don't remember much. I do recall thinking as the bus pulled up and opened the door "Oh my God they're turning us loose". I remember talking to Chimko and Katrina for a bit, doing more shots, and drinking my only MGD outside of home.

Location:Cowboys
Time: Midnight?

Upon entering I got a buch of free shots cause most people were not drinking anymore so they were giving theirs to me. I was asked to dance by a number of girls but seeing as I don't dance I turned them all down. Keith and I took a breather outside and ran into the guys that were running the crawl and they invited us to come out every weekend cause they apparently run them all the time. We sort of brushed them aside and headed back in to find everyone sitting around some tables and couches. The Crawl started to wind down as people started to leave, Keith, Ashley, Jaime, Chris, and Kelsey all disappeared around this point. Cowboys was fairly uneventful.

Location: Bus
Time: 1:00am?

This was a good ride if you can remember it. Lots of unnecessary yelling and what not. Francine was sitting with me or beside me and starting complaing that Bryan bit her, to which I responded in my best Schwarzenegger "Stop whining" and then proceeded to bite her. Some time after that on the bus I licked Lindseys face, then she licked mine and grabbed my junk. The rest is hazy.

Location: Rum
Time: Late

I don't recall much but Jessie was still making out with Chantelle and I think they included a beer bottle into their games. No one seemed to be drinking and we were all staggered along the entrance way on the couches and chairs. I think by this point we had all become the product of too much fun.

Location: Van Cab
Time: Too late

We stumbled through the West Ed parking lot mumbling stuff about what to eat and how to get home when we saw a van cab driving by. I called to Jessie to flag it down and when he did we opened the door and asked if he was the van cab we called for. He said someone had put in a call so we told him it was us and all piled in. Knowing that we didn't call for one we laughed thinking of the person who actually had and now would have to call another. On the trip home Bryan and I talked non-stop about Jessie and Chantelle and all the dirty and degrating things he should do with her. If I could have seen our cabbies face I'm sure it would have made his brown face blush.

Location: Home
Time: ?

I staggered through the door having trouble with the simplest tasks. Remembering a party that was that night I called Jonah to check if it was still going on and if so he should call me back and we should all hit it up. Within five minutes I called him back realizing I was too fucked up to even stand.

All in all, it was a good night.

From what I can remember.